my horrible secret

it's like a FMLife ripoff only for disturbed people

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Since my apartment won't allow dogs or cats, I went out and got two hamsters. One killed and ate the other one and now I have one super-sweet, cannibalistic hamster named Khan. I entered him in this contest at a local pet store, where we race hamsters for some animal charities, and there I met my current girlfriend. Sometimes, I think things happen for a reason. Insane reasons.

#1788
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You remind me of myself (1) - Wow, you're messed up (0)

Mar 11, 2010 06:36 AM - Something else - by I wish, dude

I found this site while searching for something besides porn and YouTube videos of adorable animals while at work pissing my soul away for $15.00 an hour. Sometimes, while sitting there drifting in my mind, doing jack shit, I wonder what an apocalypse would be like. Imagine the fun, work would be living life instead of scratching by being an office monkey. Anyway, never be an accountant.

#1787
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You remind me of myself (0) - Wow, you're messed up (0)

Mar 11, 2010 06:29 AM - At Work - by I wish, dude

For the most part every year I get older, I feel more miserable, more bogged down by responsibilities, and generally depressed. I compensate by watching more and more television, taking pills, and eating myself into an early grave. Socially, I play the clown, so as to appear fun-loving and generally happy. But my partner, my family, and my friends are on to me. A bullet is appealing sometimes.

#1786
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You remind me of myself (1) - Wow, you're messed up (1)

Mar 10, 2010 11:24 PM - Something else - by Meh

Some people whom I treat as friends, I secretly hate. No matter how hard I try I can't respect people who have obvious serious problems that are correctable. Obesity is not a disease, it is a choice. So is anorexia, alcoholism, drug addiction, lack of friends, poverty, ignorance, depression. Choose work, health, and learning over looks, status, or instant gratification and you will be fine.

#1785
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You remind me of myself (2) - Wow, you're messed up (1)

Mar 10, 2010 11:08 PM - Something else - by titob

i dated a married guy. i knew it going in and when she found out about me i wasnt all that surprised. she called me and threatened me and i still have panic attacks when i get calls from an unknown number. i dont feel guilty about screwing her husband. i never have. never will. i loved him and hated her.

#1784
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You remind me of myself (1) - Wow, you're messed up (0)

Mar 10, 2010 08:56 PM - Love - by confused

Bad shit happens to me everyday. I try to be careful and make sure nothing bad happens. I just leave a trail of mess behind me... My car brakes stop working, and got in a crash, The day I meet my girl's grandmother, she passes away by heart attack, I get fired because my boss lied to cover his ass, my girlfriend leaves me with my daughter because of this. I wanna run and just drift for life.

#1783
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You remind me of myself (4) - Wow, you're messed up (1)

Mar 9, 2010 04:56 AM - Something else - by Jinx

I have erectile dysfunction and I'm 23. Quite worried it's gonna cost me my new girlfriend.

#1782
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You remind me of myself (0) - Wow, you're messed up (7)

Mar 8, 2010 12:24 PM - Something else - by ssfee

When I was a teenager, I had a early curfew, I had to plan socializing with friends a week in advance with my parents and had to deal with their fanatical evangelistic religious pablum. So I had to work through all of this to get laid, taste and sample alcohol, have friends and go to parties to accomplish those ends. I have become an excellent liar, I can make up a believable story up easily.

#1781
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You remind me of myself (5) - Wow, you're messed up (1)

Mar 8, 2010 09:11 AM - Childhood - by I wish, dude

I dislike social gatherings, and often I like to stalk to the edge of the party and try to drink myself into socializing or to puke uncontrollably, due to my awkward social graces when sober. This stems from a childhood spent in relative solitude from peers due to risk-adverse, overprotective parents. To parents: socialize your kids. They need to know how to mingle or they will eat shit forever.

#1780
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You remind me of myself (9) - Wow, you're messed up (1)

Mar 8, 2010 09:00 AM - Childhood - by I wish, dude

No one calls customer service because they are happy, but don't call in pissed off and berating the customer service rep you connect with. We have your address and don't get paid enough to keep us from risking our job. You may only be an hour drive away or less. Some of us would be willing to drive eight hours. Yes, we talk about this. It's only a matter of time until we come for you.

#1779
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You remind me of myself (11) - Wow, you're messed up (2)

Mar 5, 2010 10:14 AM - At Work - by Anonymous

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